Week1_Seminar_3

1.

Astana IT University
Department of General Disciplines
Academic Writing
Week 1
Lecture 1 Course Introduction and Overview
Lecture 2 Introduction to the
Conference Submission Guideline
Seminar 1 Research Paper
Topic Selection, Brainstorming in Groups
Seminar 2 Developing SMART Goals
and Individual Plans
Seminar 3 Language Focus: Academic
Language and Tone (Part 1)

2.

Learning outcomes:
• By the end of Seminar 3, students will be able to:
- recognise academic language and tone basic tips
- demonstrate the use of academic language and tone tips

3.

Academic Language and Tone. Part 1
• Academic writing should be objective.
• If it is subjective or emotional, it will lose persuasiveness
and may be regarded as relying on emotion rather than
building a reasonable argument based on evidence.
• The language of academic writing should therefore
be impersonal, and should not include personal pronouns,
emotional language or informal speech.

4.

Eliminating personal pronouns from writing
• Use of personal pronouns (I / my / our / us / etc) can make the tone of writing too subjective, and
should be avoided.
• Tip 1: Eliminate personal pronouns. In some cases, these pronouns may simply be eliminated.
Compare the following:

5.

Eliminating personal pronouns from writing
• Use of personal pronouns (I / my / our / us / etc) can make the tone of writing too subjective, and
should be avoided.
• Tip 1: Eliminate personal pronouns. In some cases, these pronouns may simply be eliminated.
Compare the following:
• Tip 2: Eliminate pronouns and make minor adjustments. In other cases, minor adjustments
may be needed. Compare the following:

6.

Using passive voice
• Use of personal pronouns (I / my / our / us / etc) can make the tone of writing too subjective, and
should be avoided.
• Tip 1: Eliminate personal pronouns. In some cases, these pronouns may simply be eliminated.
• Tip 2: Eliminate pronouns and make minor adjustments. In other cases, minor adjustments
may be needed.
• Tip 3: Use passive voice. The passive voice allows the action rather than the ‘doer’ to be emphasized, making
the sentence less personal. In this case, the ‘doer’ is obviously the writer of the paper, so it can be deemphasized or eliminated from the sentence, making the stance less direct and more academic.

7.

Evidence based
• Tip 4: Relate your writing to the evidence, not to your thinking. Writing is much more persuasive when it
relates to evidence, which is why the words and phrases in the chart below on the left are seldom used in
academic writing compared to those in the chart on the right:

8.

Evidence based
• Tip 4: Relate your writing to the evidence, not to your thinking. Writing is much more persuasive when it
relates to evidence.
• Compare examples below:

9.

Task A
• Make the following sentences less personal by removing all personal pronouns ("I", "me",
"my", "you", "we", "us", "our", etc.)
• Consider whether to use active or passive voice and make sure each sentence is
grammatically correct.
• Message in the chat box.
1. In my opinion, Edward Snowden may have been foolish in releasing
classified documents to the media.
2. Let me show you the different sides of the argument in the following paper.
3. From my point of view, using medical technology to extend human life has
more advantages than disadvantages.

10.

No ”you”
• Tip 4: Relate your writing to the evidence, not to your thinking. Writing is much more persuasive when it
relates to evidence.
• Tip 5: Do not address the reader as ‘you’.

11.

No emotions
• Tip 6: AVOID the following judgmental and emotional language in academic writing:

12.

No phrasal verbs
• Tip 6: AVOID the following judgmental and emotional language in academic writing:
• Tip 7: Avoid phrasal verbs. Phrasal verbs such as build up, go up, go down, go back (etc) are
commonly used in spoken English, but seldom in academic writing as they are too
‘conversational’. Compare the following:

13.

No phrasal verbs
• Tip 6: AVOID the following judgmental and emotional language in academic writing:
• Tip 7: Avoid phrasal verbs. Phrasal verbs such as build up, go up, go down, go back (etc) are
commonly used in spoken English, but seldom in academic writing as they are too
‘conversational’. Compare the following:

14.

No contractions
• Tip 6: AVOID the following judgmental and emotional language in academic writing:
• Tip 7: Avoid phrasal verbs. Phrasal verbs such as build up, go up, go down, go back (etc) are
commonly used in spoken English, but seldom in academic writing as they are too
‘conversational’. Compare the following:
• Tip 8: Avoid contractions, weak words and slang expressions. Compare the following:

15.

No unspecific and very basic words
• Tip 6: AVOID the following judgmental and emotional language in academic writing:
• Tip 7: Avoid phrasal verbs. Phrasal verbs such as build up, go up, go down, go back (etc) are
commonly used in spoken English, but seldom in academic writing as they are too
‘conversational’. Compare the following:
• Tip 8: Avoid contractions, weak words and slang expressions. Compare the following:
• Tip 9: Avoid the words on the left and replace them with more specific, academic words on
the right.

16.

No unspecific and very basic words
• Tip 6: AVOID the following judgmental and emotional language in academic writing:
• Tip 7: Avoid phrasal verbs. Phrasal verbs such as build up, go up, go down, go back (etc) are
commonly used in spoken English, but seldom in academic writing as they are too
‘conversational’. Compare the following:
• Tip 8: Avoid contractions, weak words and slang expressions. Compare the following:
• Tip 9: Avoid the words on the left and replace them with more specific, academic words on
the right.

17.

- Your choice of words helps you to portray
yourself intelligently to an audience of educated
readers.
- Using formal language in academic writing
allows you to communicate accurately and
effectively, and to gain credibility and the trust of
your audience.

18.

Task B
• Match the problem on the right to the example of that problem on the
left.
• There is only one type of problem in each sentence.
a. Because the issue has become serious, we must work together to find a solution.
1. The writer uses slang (everyday /
conversational language)
b. It is an undeniable fact that smoking is appalling and will cause an early death.
2. The writer's language is too absolute
/ definite
c. If you think change is necessary, you need to take an action.
3. The writer's language is too
emotional
d. Action must be taken immediately to save the young and innocent pillars of future
society.
4. The writer uses a personal pronoun
e. Too much advertising may have a bad effect on children which may not be good for
society.
5. The writer's word choice is poor
f. If society doesn't strive towards improvement, it seems that it won't progress.
6. The writer uses contractions (short
forms)
g. I think the problem may be solved through teamwork and cooperation.
7. The reader is addressed as 'you'
h. The issue was a big deal for those involved and it was kind of cool.
8. The writer refers to what he/she
thinks rather than the evidence
i. Society may need to keep an eye on advertisers. Specifically, they may need to check out
the techniques of subliminal messaging often found in adverts.
9. The writer uses phrasal verbs instead
academic one word alternatives.

19.

Task B
• Match the problem on the right to the example of that problem on the left.
• There is only one type of problem in each sentence.
a. Because the issue has become serious, we must work together to find a solution.
a-4
1. The writer uses slang (everyday /
conversational language)
b. It is an undeniable fact that smoking is appalling and will cause an early death.
b-2
2. The writer's language is too absolute
/ definite
c. If you think change is necessary, you need to take an action.
c-7
3. The writer's language is too
emotional
d. Action must be taken immediately to save the young and innocent pillars of future
society.
d-3
4. The writer uses a personal pronoun
e. Too much advertising may have a bad effect on children which may not be good for
society.
e-5
5. The writer's word choice is poor
f. If society doesn't strive towards improvement, it seems that it won't progress.
f-6
6. The writer uses contractions (short
forms)
g. I think the problem may be solved through teamwork and cooperation.
g-8
7. The reader is addressed as 'you'
h. The issue was a big deal for those involved and it was kind of cool.
h-1
8. The writer refers to what he/she
thinks rather than the evidence
i. Society may need to keep an eye on advertisers. Specifically, they may need to check out
the techniques of subliminal messaging often found in adverts.
i-9
9. The writer uses phrasal verbs instead
academic one word alternatives.

20.

Individual task
• At the link below, review some academic alternatives
discussed earlier today:
https://quizlet.com/30415108/using-academic-vocabulary-flashcards/
• More academic words are at:
http://www.phrasebank.manchester.ac.uk/

21.

Thank you for participating!