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1.

DISCUSSION LESSON · READING & SPEAKING
PERFECTIONISM
Flawless — or fragile? What does the pursuit of perfect really cost?
One dot out of line — that's life.
W AR M - U P T AL K
R E AD I N G & G AP - F I L L
DISCUSSION TIME

2.

WARM-UP 1 · SPEAKING
Personality check
Talk to a partner — two minutes each, then share your favorite answer with the class.
1
What are some characteristics of your
personality?
4
Do you plan your life in detail, or do you prefer
not to make plans? Why?
2
What makes you happy? What are some things
that make you angry?
5
Do you want to accomplish many things in your
life, or do you want to take it easy?
3
Do you know someone who is always busy?
TIP
Speak freely — this is a warm-up, not a test. No
perfect answers required.

3.

WARM-UP 2 · SPEAKING
Pressure & plans
Keep the same partner — dig deeper into pressure, patience and plans.
6
Have you ever yelled at someone or been really angry because they didn't do something?
7
How do you feel when other people put off something you want done soon?
8
Are you always on time to class — late, or early?
9
Do you ever have a plan B, for when something goes wrong with plan A? Give an example if you can.
10
What is perfectionism? How do you understand this term?

4.

TASK · VOCABULARY PREVIEW
Match word to meaning
Match the words on the left (1–11) with their meanings on the right (a–k) — you will meet all of them in the article.
WORDS 1–11
MEANINGS a–k
1. to conceal
a. to deal with, have responsibility for, or be in charge of
2. burnout
b. in a way that does not permit change
3. to handle
c. to refuse to accept or be changed by something
4. to resist
d. a result or effect of an action, situation, etc.
5. conscientiousness
e. to decide that something or someone is not important and not worth considering
6. rigidly
f. to prevent something from being seen or known about
7. to dismiss
g. a feeling of extreme excitement, usually caused by something pleasant
8. prone
h. perfect or without mistakes
9. flawless
i. the state of having no energy or enthusiasm because of working too hard
10. thrill
j. likely to do, get, or suffer from something
11. outcome
k. the quality of working hard and being careful

5.

READING 1 · FROM THE ARTICLE
What is perfectionism?
There are two types of perfectionism: adaptive and maladaptive.
ADAPTIVE
MALADAPTIVE
the healthier type
never enough
• Want to develop their skills continually
• Never satisfied with what they achieve
• Standards are always rising
• If something is not perfect, they ________
• Approach work with optimism, pleasure and a desire to
improve
• May experience fear of failure, anxiety, unhappiness and
other painful emotions
G AP 1
Fill the gap — if something is not perfect, they ________ it. Which word from the Vocabulary Preview fits?
From the article “What Is Perfectionism?”

6.

READING 2 · BEHAVIOR CHECKLIST
Eight warning signs
Maladaptive perfectionists tend to exhibit the following actions and behaviors — how many do you recognize?
SIGN 1
SIGN 2
SIGN 3
SIGN 4
They have high, unrealistic
goals.
They give up on tasks if they
feel that they can't be the best
or “win.”
They view mistakes as failures
and ________ them from
others.
They spend an excessive
amount of time planning or
redoing work to make it
“perfect.”
SIGN 5
SIGN 6
SIGN 7
SIGN 8
They don't ________ criticism
or feedback well.
They apply unrealistic
standards to colleagues and are
over-critical of their work.
If things don't go to plan, they
can feel stressed and anxious.
They find it difficult to delegate
tasks to others.

7.

READING 3 · THE DEBATE
Weakness or strength?
THE STRENGTH CASE
G AP 4
• Often viewed as a strength that helps people produce highquality work
THE WEAKNESS CASE
• You may be viewed as over-critical by others
• ________ and attention to detail are valuable attributes
• Seen as a procrastinator who spends too long on detail
rather than the end result
• When lives are at risk, test and check thoroughly — systems
must work flawlessly
• When the consequences of imperfection are small, seeking
perfection is wasteful or counterproductive
“
Learning to recognize when “good enough” really is good enough can save time and energy — for when
they're really needed.

8.

READING 4 · THE COST
Why is perfectionism a problem?
G AP 5
GENERAL HEALTH
SELF-ESTEEM
PRODUCTIVITY
Linked to eating disorders, depression,
migraines, anxiety, ________ and
personality disorders.
Self-worth is tied to achievement — you
believe others judge you on it.
Avoid starting a project until you find the
absolute best approach.
Never satisfied, you assume others think
little of you.
Get caught up in minor details — or make
others repeat finished tasks.
A downward spiral of self-criticism, blame
and self-sabotage.
Time is wasted, team workflow suffers,
relationships are damaged.
The quest for perfection also brings
decreased energy, increased stress and
relationship problems.
Controlling and criticizing colleagues harms
their self-esteem too.
Source: Journal of Counseling and Development, 2011.

9.

READING 5 · STRATEGIES
Five ways to deal with it
1
Challenge your behavior
List what must be “perfect” and why. You may ________ delegating because you distrust others'
ability — try one task a day, reviewed just once.
2
Set realistic goals
Break life and career goals into smaller monthly or yearly steps — and feel the ________ of
achieving them.
3
Listen to your emotions
Anxiety signals an impossible target. Perfectionists are ________ to negative self-talk — positive
thinking leads to positive action and ________.
4
Don't fear mistakes
James Joyce called mistakes “the portals of discovery” — they teach far more than a ________
performance.
5
Relax — and go with the
flow
Perfectionists stick ________ to carefully laid plans. Rest, breaks and new experiences keep
perfectionism under control.

10.

CLASS POLL · SELF-CHECK
How perfectionist are you?
Count your YES answers — be honest!
I check my work multiple times before turning it in.
YOUR SCORE
0–1 YES
I often redo finished tasks because they are not exactly right.
I give up when I feel I can't be the best.
Relaxed realist — good enough really is good
enough for you.
2–3 YES
Balanced striver — high standards, mostly
under control.
I find it hard to delegate — nobody does it as well as I do.
4–5 YES
I feel stressed and anxious when things don't go to plan.
Card-carrying perfectionist — pick a strategy
from the article. Today.

11.

TALK 1 · ARTICLE TO ACTION
Your turn
The article gives five strategies — now make them personal. Discuss with a partner, then report to the class.
COULD FOLLOW
Which pieces of advice from the article could you follow? What could you do
straight away? Give examples.
Pick ONE strategy — name your very first step this week.
HARD TO FOLLOW
Which of them would be difficult for you to obey? Why?
Tell your partner about a moment your standards got in the way.

12.

VIDEO · OBSERVATION TASK
Monica the perfectionist
VIDEO CLIP
WHILE YOU WATCH
• What examples of perfectionism can you find in
her behavior?
• Which situations do her friends mention?
AFTER YOU WATCH
Monica — the ultimate perfectionist?
Watch: Monica being a perfectionist — what do you notice?
Compare your list with a partner — who spotted
more Monica moments? Then vote: which example
was the most extreme?

13.

DISCUSSION TIME 1 · SMALL GROUPS
Big questions
Small groups — three minutes per question, one speaker reports back.
1
Are there any physiological influences of perfectionism in athletes? Which?
Think: training loads, injury, diet, the pressure to win.
2
Do you think you can change a major characteristic of your personality if you try?
Think: habits vs core traits — where is the line?
3
How does one person's character affect the personalities of surrounding people? Are you
influenced by people you know? Give an example.
Think: friends, teammates, family — who rubs off on you?

14.

DISCUSSION TIME 2 · THE FINAL DEBATE
Perfectionist vs procrastinator
Last round — take a side and defend it for one minute. Then switch sides and argue the opposite.
THE PERFECTIONIST
Checks it five times — then checks it once more, just in
case.
THE PROCRASTINATOR
VS
Has the best intentions… will definitely start tomorrow.
4
The article gives tips on how to stop being a perfectionist. What advice could you give about how to stop
procrastinating?
5
Would you rather be a perfectionist or a procrastinator? Why?

15.

“
Mistakes are the portals of discovery.
— JAMES JOYCE · NOVELIST
ACCEPT IT
LEARN FROM IT
MOVE ON
PERFECTIONISM · CLASSROOM DISCUSSION